Let me start by saying, if you have EVER lost someone, it is EXTREMELY difficult, especially a parent. Was Mica an unruly house guest, absolutely! But as a friend, I think that Brie Bythewood tried to show Mica a bit of compassion but was convinced she was being disrespected by her new friends. I have also noticed that the Bythewood‘s are a large family and Brie is blessed to have so much support from them. If you haven’t read the letter written by David Bythewood, Brie‘s uncle we posted yesterday, CLICK HERE.
I thought it was time for me to set the record straight and fill you in on something you don’t know regarding Mica and what she was going thru while filming “Blood Sweat & Heels.”
A father / daughter relationship is vey unique…it’s that young girls first contact with a man. He shows her support, love and he provides or he shows her the complete opposite. Mica over the years was in an ongoing battle of listening to some of her friends and family members who said “just walk away from your dad” or continue listening to her heart…that said, “keep trying Mica, keep trying“. In true Mica fashion, she chose her heart.
I met Mica‘s dads 2 years ago when she got a call that he was ill back in 2012. It had been a few years since she last saw him and I knew her emotions were going crazy because she was the only one that came to his aid…no one else. The first few weeks were tough but over the next few months I watched a daughter nurse her dad back to health, run 2 business and still have time for me. Her dad had a very unique way of saying how proud he was of her…he kept every photo and news article that she ever appeared in, and I mean every one. In the fall of 2012, her dad seem to go back to some of his old ways of not showing a great deal of appreciation for his daughter. It got so bad that at one point that I had to confront him. So fast forward to now, again Mica gets a call that her dad is ill but this time it’s about the probability of his death. Like before, again she answers with her heart. As I watch this play out, the saddest thing for me was to know that the relationship Mica wanted with her dad all along would never happen and that her heart was broken . One thing about her dad that I will always remember was the fact of how proud he was to be a black man and how proudly he said it no matter what other people thought. That one trait is also in his daughter.
Now for David Bythewood and a few others,
There is a lot you don’t see because of editing and I think you should be smart enough to know that. One thing Mica is not…she is not an alcoholic, and she has hundreds of friends who know her very well that can backup that statement.
So David Bythewood I want to give you the “absolute facts” not lip service…of The “5 days..being Mica“. You can check these facts and statements with the production company, editing, the producers, camera men, light guys and the sound crew. Everything I write here happened just like I tell it.
Last Three Episodes
The last 4 weeks of the show really don’t bring to light what was going on with Mica. They showed us going to DC to see her Dad…then they show Mica headed to The Hamptons. Here is what they don’t show you that explains everything that happened.
Sunday- The Calls:
We got a call that Mica‘s Dad was not doing well, that he was on life support and we should come down to DC. Mica called the producers and said she had to go and they said we want to come with you…film crew and all. Also, some other facts before we even started filming Blood, Sweat & Heels (BSH): Mica‘s Dad was terminally ill. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. That was always on her mind throughout the filming.
Monday, Day 1-The Reality:
As you saw the previous week on BSH, Mica and I head to DC. We meet Mica‘s half brother outside her Dad’s room and got more details. Her Dad was found unconscious. He also had gangrene in his foot and leg so the doctors needed to amputate his left leg at the knee. He also suffered a small stroke. I could feel Mica‘s tension as she entered the room to see her Dad who was so vibrant and vocal, now so quiet and calm, but still very alert. His eyes were open and he was looking around the room at everyone. He was hooked up to several machines, We stayed for a for a long time, then left to go have dinner, some of which you see, but not all. It really hit her that this might be the end! She got so emotional with tears all night that she hardly slept.
Tuesday, Day 2- Her Hope:
The film crew followed us back to the hospital that morning. Mica and her brother met with the doctors to see what the next steps were. A decision was made to take her Dad off of life support to see if he could breathe on his own, and if not, they would put him back on the machine. Then they could better determine what kind of care her Dad needed. A decision was made to wait for her other brother to arrive from out of town before that was done. The film crew headed back to NYC.
Wednesday, Day 3- WTH! (no cameras around):
We returned to the hospital and as we entered the room we were greeted by Mica‘s other brother who had arrived late on Tuesday night. We chatted for a few minutes then another man entered the room. To Mica‘s and my surprise, it was a Chaplin, who came to give the last rights to her Father. We were in shock because no one told her, that when they took her Dad off life support, there would be no attempt to resuscitate if it didn’t go well. It was all very confusing! The doctors mentioned, when they extubate, he would be able to speak, if all went well. From the day Mica got the news of the progression of his illness, she hoped they would find closure. Mica spent the next few hours with her brothers and Dad. The procedure to extubate was to be done that day. When the time came, we waited in the hallway until the doctors were finished. The extubation went well and he was breathing on his own. The doctors could not foretell the outcome, but said he was OK and could remain this way for weeks or months. Mica spent as much time as she could with him before we headed back to NYC. In the car we talked about her upcoming schedule and how soon she could return to DC. She checked on her Dad when we got home and he was breathing on his own.
Thursday, Day 4- Mica’s Sorrow (no cameras around):
That morning Mica called the hospital to check on her Dad and was told, he is chain breathing (breaths then stops for about 30 to 45 seconds). She had the nurse put her cell phone to his ear and for the next 4 hours, I watched Mica sing, play jazz, and tell her Dad over and over again…”It’s OK Dad, it’s OK.” That afternoon Mica was asked to film a short scene and afterwards she went to dinner with Tyra. I knew her girl could help ease some of her pain. I called Mica and she said there was no news from the hospital After I picked her up from downtown, just as we got home, she realized she left her phone at Tyra‘s. We made arrangements to picked her phone up at 8am the following morning.
Friday, Day 5- The Sadness and Shame:
The previous episode you see Mica headed to The Hamptons…and this is what you don’t see. That morning we left out early to pick up her phone from Tyra‘s by 8am. Then we headed to the spot where a/her driver was waiting. As we pull up to the drop spot, she is checking the last of her messages and hears the one she most dreads. It’s from the hospital…that her dad had passed. Although she was expecting the news to come…you are never ready when it comes. She decides to still go to The Hamptons to stay with her cousin. To this day, I regret not going with her to The Hamptons, because what you saw happen would never have gone down like that… if I was there…trust me on that…never!
Mica is one of the strongest women I’ve ever met and to watch what she went through that week broke my heart. She gave more than any of the other women could ever give and she is one of the most compassionate people I know. The pressure of filming…letting the world see everything…the reality of not having a true friend on the show to really ask the question, “Mica, are you OK ?”…took it’s toll. The filming days were very long and she hung in there the whole way. For some people it’s all about the cameras…and… it’s always “Show Time“. Shame on them.
The other facts, the scene when her dad’s ashes arrive at the house, happened just as you see it…but that was 4 weeks later. It felt like she could not catch a break, even the film crew started to feel her pain. Her dad wanted to be cremated and for 3 weeks with the help of her mom, who is a pastor, they handled the arrangements. All while running her business’s and allowing the world into her life at such a vulnerable time.
So now David Bythewood I hope you can find some compassion, but if not I hope the quote I leave you with works better.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal”
Needless to say, we are expecting one hell of a reunion show! We also think Mica should have her own spin-off show, entitled Being Mica.